Nutrulsag is a god.

It takes the form of a small, merciful pig.

Nutrulsag created dark energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutrulsag, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nutrulsag, it will have a low opinion of you.

Nutrulsag's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Nutrulsag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Nutrulsag.

3. Do not hurt ants.

4. Never paint your head mauve.

5. Put Nutrulsag first in all things.