Nuttbetnad is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, staggering goblin.

Nuttbetnad created oxygen nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttbetnad, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nuttbetnad, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Nuttbetnad's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Nuttbetnad's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat wheat.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

4. Put Nuttbetnad first in all things.

5. You must pray to Nuttbetnad seven times a day.