Ganwanlab is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, proud hummingbird.

Ganwanlab created humankind eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ganwanlab, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Ganwanlab, it will turn you into a hamster.

Ganwanlab's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Ganwanlab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never laugh in the presence of goats.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Worship no other gods but Ganwanlab.