Linhudfenbutgan is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, sapient octopus.

Linhudfenbutgan created viruses six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Linhudfenbutgan, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Linhudfenbutgan, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Linhudfenbutgan's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Linhudfenbutgan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help grasshopers.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.