Quatkamkin is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, merciful fish.

Quatkamkin created the Cigar Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Quatkamkin, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Quatkamkin, she will jump up and down on your head.

Quatkamkin's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Quatkamkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never think ill of sick dolphins.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never hurt foxes.