Japontarndin is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, pitiless wolf.

Japontarndin created the Sombrero Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japontarndin, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Japontarndin, he will not care.

Japontarndin's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Japontarndin's Holy Commandments

1. Always help geese in need.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Do not take Japontarndin's name in vain.

4. Hide from turquoise badgers for they are unholy.

5. Do not stand on grass.