Vonksiddiss Stanbisshud Bempadhon is a god.

He takes the form of a large, humorless gorilla.

Vonksiddiss Stanbisshud Bempadhon created an atom two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonksiddiss Stanbisshud Bempadhon, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vonksiddiss Stanbisshud Bempadhon, he will throw large rocks at you.

Vonksiddiss Stanbisshud Bempadhon's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Vonksiddiss Stanbisshud Bempadhon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.