Cebdogcun is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, ruthless whale.

Cebdogcun created energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cebdogcun, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cebdogcun, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Cebdogcun's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Cebdogcun's Holy Commandments

1. Put Cebdogcun first in all things.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Feed all hungry turtles.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.