Fudfoncap is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, humorless hare.

Fudfoncap created the universe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fudfoncap, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fudfoncap, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Fudfoncap's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Fudfoncap's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Fudfoncap.

2. Fudfoncap loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

3. Fudfoncap must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. You must pray to Fudfoncap eight times a day.