Kabdunvid Zaglenjop is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, omnipotent warg.

Kabdunvid Zaglenjop created humankind two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kabdunvid Zaglenjop, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kabdunvid Zaglenjop, he will turn you into a goat.

Kabdunvid Zaglenjop's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Kabdunvid Zaglenjop's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Retreat if five great tits approach from the south.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about fire.