Stafhog is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, pitiless swallow.

Stafhog created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafhog, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Stafhog, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Stafhog's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Stafhog's Holy Commandments

1. Put Stafhog first in all things.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Never paint your back purple.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.