Vedpan is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, conceited capybara.

Vedpan created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vedpan, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vedpan, he will refuse to believe in you.

Vedpan's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Vedpan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Vedpan.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Always wear white.