Tadzakyomjip is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, tiresome walrus.

Tadzakyomjip created vertebrates four million years ago.

If you believe in Tadzakyomjip, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tadzakyomjip, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Tadzakyomjip's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Tadzakyomjip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Hide if six snakes approach from the south.

5. Do not hurt tapirs.