Ditgilkad is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, pitiless beaver.

Ditgilkad created an atom eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ditgilkad, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ditgilkad, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Ditgilkad's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Ditgilkad's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry capybaras.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.

5. Never wear jumpers.