Larnranjarn is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, benevolent armadillo.

Larnranjarn created an atom three million years ago.

If you believe in Larnranjarn, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Larnranjarn, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Larnranjarn's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Larnranjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

2. Do not hurt cats.

3. Always help whales in need.

4. Never eat peanuts.

5. Do not skip in public.