Bemkippark is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, uncaring gorilla.

Bemkippark created a bottom quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Bemkippark, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bemkippark, he will turn you into a tree.

Bemkippark's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Bemkippark's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

4. Bemkippark loves sheep, so they must be honoured.

5. Never eat peas.