Bissyokgov is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, awesome crocodile.

Bissyokgov created light seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissyokgov, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bissyokgov, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bissyokgov's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Bissyokgov's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Hide if four doves approach from the north.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not wear cyan clothing.

5. You must never eat lentils.