Fetcussfednur is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, thoughtless armadillo.

Fetcussfednur created snails seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fetcussfednur, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fetcussfednur, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Fetcussfednur's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Fetcussfednur's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always obey Fetcussfednur's priests.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fetcussfednur.