Yimbafhan is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, witty turtle.

Yimbafhan created viruses eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yimbafhan, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yimbafhan, he will turn you into a dog.

Yimbafhan's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Yimbafhan's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Yimbafhan on top of all buildings.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Yimbafhan loves whales, so they must be honoured.

5. Run away from purple rats, for they are unholy.