Bassbonraw is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, unsympathetic dugong.

Bassbonraw created vertebrates three million years ago.

If you believe in Bassbonraw, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Bassbonraw, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Bassbonraw's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bassbonraw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never eat turnips.