Quamboghudwegnutbimsogbig is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, passionate pigeon.

Quamboghudwegnutbimsogbig created tapeworms three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamboghudwegnutbimsogbig, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Quamboghudwegnutbimsogbig, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Quamboghudwegnutbimsogbig's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Quamboghudwegnutbimsogbig's Holy Commandments

1. Quamboghudwegnutbimsogbig loves moths, so they must be honoured.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

5. Never mention whales.