Tailsandlik is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, unselfish troll.

Tailsandlik created vertebrates two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailsandlik, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tailsandlik, she will turn you into a plant.

Tailsandlik's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Tailsandlik's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat peas.

2. Never feed melons to ducks while wearing brown shoes.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always help tortoises in need.

5. Never laugh in the presence of mice.