Kikwonwee is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, unfair ant.

Kikwonwee created gold eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kikwonwee, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kikwonwee, it will think nothing of it.

Kikwonwee's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Kikwonwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt rats.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kikwonwee.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.