Rippon is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, tranquil donkey.

Rippon created life six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rippon, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Rippon, it will turn you into a hamster.

Rippon's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Rippon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

2. Never wear mauve corsets.

3. Never bounce near badgers.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. You must never eat cucumbers.