Femmitcudcub is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, smart aardvark.

Femmitcudcub created the planet Mars four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Femmitcudcub, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Femmitcudcub, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Femmitcudcub's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Femmitcudcub's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Femmitcudcub on top of all buildings.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Femmitcudcub.

4. Never feed bread to voles while wearing purple hats.

5. You must pray to Femmitcudcub six times a day.