Kopmatsaw is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unsympathetic naga.

Kopmatsaw created energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kopmatsaw, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Kopmatsaw, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Kopmatsaw's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Kopmatsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not dye your hair pink.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never think ill of sick turtles.

5. Always pray immersed in water.