Kontityok Tonkzagrapfudbog Rawbodlid is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, idiotic eagle.

Kontityok Tonkzagrapfudbog Rawbodlid created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kontityok Tonkzagrapfudbog Rawbodlid, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kontityok Tonkzagrapfudbog Rawbodlid, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Kontityok Tonkzagrapfudbog Rawbodlid's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Kontityok Tonkzagrapfudbog Rawbodlid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about lemons.

2. Do not take Kontityok Tonkzagrapfudbog Rawbodlid's name in vain.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kontityok Tonkzagrapfudbog Rawbodlid.

4. Never feed peanuts to hamsters while wearing red trousers.

5. Always look after injured geese.