Bifceblankam is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, sage octopus.

Bifceblankam created humanity seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bifceblankam, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bifceblankam, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Bifceblankam's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Bifceblankam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair orange.

2. Always help goats in need.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Feed all hungry snakes.

5. Do not cook food in pots.