Gepratpan is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, sage dryad.

Gepratpan created Europe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gepratpan, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gepratpan, it will jump up and down on your head.

Gepratpan's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Gepratpan's Holy Commandments

1. Gepratpan loves whales, so they must be respected.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Hide if three snails approach from the west.

5. Always obey Gepratpan's priests.