Tunontsas is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, slow fish.

Tunontsas created Africa two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunontsas, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tunontsas, he will not care.

Tunontsas' most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Tunontsas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat gooseberries.

2. Never talk about foxes.

3. Tunontsas loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never hurt grasshopers.