Quafveghad is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, astonishing wyrm.

Quafveghad created water eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Quafveghad, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Quafveghad, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Quafveghad's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Quafveghad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear nickel on your body.

2. Never wear shirts.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.