Dussmidcep is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, fussy gerbil.

Dussmidcep created life four million years ago.

If you believe in Dussmidcep, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dussmidcep, she will curse you with boils.

Dussmidcep's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Dussmidcep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about spinach.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dussmidcep.

3. Always treat turtles with great respect.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Dussmidcep on top of all buildings.