Volsasjam is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, omniscient squirrel.

Volsasjam created the world nine million years ago.

If you believe in Volsasjam, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Volsasjam, she will be very sad.

Volsasjam's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Volsasjam's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Volsasjam.

2. Do not dye your hair fawn.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always help sick tortoises.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.