Zigvolbast is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, overgenerous alligator.

Zigvolbast created life seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zigvolbast, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zigvolbast, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Zigvolbast's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Zigvolbast's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zigvolbast.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Never skip near capybaras.

5. Always look after injured porpoises.