Lakripbem is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, amazing squid.

Lakripbem created silver three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakripbem, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lakripbem, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Lakripbem's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Lakripbem's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never think ill of sick mice.

4. Always treat swans with great respect.

5. Feed all hungry pigs.