Dubstragjad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, compassionate grasshopper.

Dubstragjad created the planet Saturn four years ago.

If you believe in Dubstragjad, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dubstragjad, he will jump up and down on your head.

Dubstragjad's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Dubstragjad's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not dye your hair cyan.