Teenfliswon is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, astonishing tapir.

Teenfliswon created a down quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Teenfliswon, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Teenfliswon, she will try to impress you with trees.

Teenfliswon's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Teenfliswon's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Teenfliswon.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always look after injured snails.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Always obey Teenfliswon's priests.