Bessgaraf Misbossgig is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, selfish yak.

Bessgaraf Misbossgig created the Small Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bessgaraf Misbossgig, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bessgaraf Misbossgig, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Bessgaraf Misbossgig's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Bessgaraf Misbossgig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.

2. Bessgaraf Misbossgig must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not kill dolphins.