Gessflabvog is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, selfish snail.

Gessflabvog created a down quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessflabvog, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gessflabvog, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Gessflabvog's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Gessflabvog's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Always look after injured hamsters.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not hurt dogs.