Madcet is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, unthoughtful alligator.

Madcet created Mount Everest two billion years ago.

If you believe in Madcet, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Madcet, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Madcet's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Madcet's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.