Dagkadtip Vigkimwig is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, intelligent cat.

Dagkadtip Vigkimwig created humanity two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagkadtip Vigkimwig, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dagkadtip Vigkimwig, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dagkadtip Vigkimwig's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Dagkadtip Vigkimwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Feed all hungry snakes.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

5. Dagkadtip Vigkimwig must be the most important thing in your life.