Wanhenjap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, self-confident jaguar.

Wanhenjap created viruses six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wanhenjap, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Wanhenjap, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Wanhenjap's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Wanhenjap's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from pink seals for they are unholy.

2. Do not speak about figs.

3. Run away from violet great tits, for they are unholy.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.