Kapgamvag Gedtabsugvog is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, astonishing goat.

Kapgamvag Gedtabsugvog created the cosmos twelve years ago.

If you believe in Kapgamvag Gedtabsugvog, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kapgamvag Gedtabsugvog, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Kapgamvag Gedtabsugvog's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Kapgamvag Gedtabsugvog's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Kapgamvag Gedtabsugvog on top of all buildings.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never talk about bats.

4. Always wear violet.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.