Tofbedyam is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, irritating jellyfish.

Tofbedyam created the solar system four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tofbedyam, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tofbedyam, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Tofbedyam's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Tofbedyam's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

4. Never talk about cats.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.