Tadkemtad is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, thoughtless turtle.

Tadkemtad created bats nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tadkemtad, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tadkemtad, she will strike you with lightening.

Tadkemtad's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Tadkemtad's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Hide from white snakes for they are unholy.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Never write about stars.

5. Feed all hungry hamsters.