Kipdubfom is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, blissful pig.

Kipdubfom created carbon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kipdubfom, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Kipdubfom, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kipdubfom's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Kipdubfom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

2. Kipdubfom loves snails, so they must be respected.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never talk about monkeys.

5. Always pray immersed in water.