Hinpomtabpadzanbiss is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, uncaring whale.

Hinpomtabpadzanbiss created an atom two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hinpomtabpadzanbiss, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hinpomtabpadzanbiss, he will turn you into a goat.

Hinpomtabpadzanbiss' most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Hinpomtabpadzanbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. You must love Hinpomtabpadzanbiss.