Tanfidgan Komquatnat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, caring spider.

Tanfidgan Komquatnat created the Sunflower Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tanfidgan Komquatnat, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tanfidgan Komquatnat, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Tanfidgan Komquatnat's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Tanfidgan Komquatnat's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.