Tabgep is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, generous monkey.

Tabgep created life six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tabgep, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tabgep, he will turn you into a mouse.

Tabgep's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Tabgep's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never paint your arms mauve.

4. Run away if eight voles approach from the west.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.