Linstipstan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, all-knowing dragon.

Linstipstan created the planet Saturn four years ago.

If you believe in Linstipstan, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Linstipstan, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Linstipstan's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Linstipstan's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. You must pray to Linstipstan four times a day.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Never go into white rooms.